Embracing this moment

Sadly we had a death in the family this week.  It was my Grandmother's brother.  The loss of my Great Uncle means there is no longer anyone living from that generation.  All of my Great Aunt's & Uncles on both sides of the family are gone.  That is so hard to get my mind around.  (Or maybe it's the fact I'm growing closer to 50 that is hitting me harder.)

Death is like that, isn't it?  It makes us stop and think of how we are living.  It can make us face our own timelines.  It's stopping and asking ourselves... am I really living?  Am I experiencing this moment to the fullest? 

Time passes and we tend to fall back asleep and return to our auto-pilot ways; until the next death occurs.  

It is a reminder to be here now and to open our hearts to a deeper experience of this moment. 

Love as fully as you are able... even from afar.  Breathe into this time and trust that it will all work out in the end.  Bottom line we are all headed to that transitional place at some point albeit hopefully later than sooner.  It made me revisit this Jerry Seinfeld quote....

“Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it. When the doctor slaps your behind, he's ripping your ticket and away you go. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.”

Love,

Tam

x

PS.  Oh and I almost forgot... my latest colouring book in the Chinese Zodiac series entitled, "I'm a Horse" is all ready to go!  Go buy your copy 

Dedication to Camp David

We've decided to change the name of our cottage from "Trent View" to Camp David.  Oddly enough Dave had always called the cottage this so it's fitting.  He'd already had this sign in the our forest (yes we have a magical forest) and on a sign he made called the "Cottage rules".  Anyhow so I made him a present for his upcoming birthday and also so we could enjoy it.  Here it is:

Now I can't take full credit for the entire sign.  I did get the idea for the crane/bullrushes from this sign on google:

I did decide to add him in on the far left fishing as this is one of his favourite things.  And the cottage is ours, along with our dock, firepit and Dave's first truck.  I also added in a Canadian flag which we've intended to put up for the past 11 years (lol... we'll get to it).

Anyhow... Happy Birthday Dave

I hope he enjoys it.  He came to me in my dream last night and gave me the biggest hug.  And he told me he isn't dead.  I said, "Thank god!  That was an aweful dream!"  Then I woke up.  Could still feel his hug.  And sadly realized that he is not alive in our known human form.  But I'm still happy he's alive somewhere.  

So much love baby brother
x

Loss

Talking to Mom yesterday and I mentioned something that needs to be done this coming Saturday the 28th.  She said, "Ah no problem, let's deal with that later.  Now what's up for Friday?"

"No Mom," I redirected her.  "We need to know what is happening for Saturday so we can finish making our plans."

"But this is the weekend of the 21st, the 28th is a whole week away!"

She was pretty surprised to discover she'd lost a week in there.  Funny how life and in this case death can lead toward missing time.

I wish we could erase these past few weeks and not feel so raw.

It's like one of my friends at the funeral said.... right now you are feeling like the underside of a quilt.  It's raw, it has strings hanging out of it; but there will come a time when you'll flip that quilt over and discover it's beauty.

In my moments of grief, I'll await those times.

This is the last Picture of my brother with his son Zach taken at Christmas 2014.

I feel at such a loss of what to do here.  The family is raising monies to help pay for the children's education.  My brother's kids Zach (8) and Jacob (15) are left along with their mother Tanya without a dad and partner.

I'm raising as much as I can from here.  Please donate to My Nephews Education Fund
http://www.gofundme.com/pwvq9k

Please share & thank you if you donate, every little bit will help.

You can also privately message me and I can offer you other options if you do not wish to do so online.

Thank you in eternal gratitude.