Conscious Choices

I'm struggling.


I find from Monday's first class until Thursday evening I seem to be able to keep it all together.
I have moments of grief, of sorrow, yet on average I'm Ok.  I can put myself off to the side and do my job.

I breath into the spaces.  I use all of the techniques available to me:  Reiki, Ho'oponopono, pranayama, NLP, EFT ... you get the idea.

Then the weekend comes. 

After my last client leaves I seem to not be able to keep it together at all.  I fall into a space of grieving and can't pull out of it.  It is one of those things that I'm fine for awhile then it's like a tsunami comes in and knocks me over.

I look forward to the time when I feel the Phoenix rising; but right now I feel like I'm still down in the ashes (no cremation pun intended there).

Ah Davey... how the hell did we get here?

Frustrated

As per our usual Friday night, we ordered take out. One ear was listening for the door as we watched the Barrett Jackson Classic car auction. The front door does not have a traditional door bell, it has a bell built into the door; however, most people either do not notice it or do not believe it works so it rarely gets used. They pound on the door instead. Twenty minutes after ordering the food I hear someone on our front porch.

It was the newspaper boy. He was fighting to get the newspaper into the mailbox, slipped on the snow covered wooden porch he was on his knees crying. He had papers all around him and was fully frustrated; punching the evil mid-air around him. Poor little guy; I opened the door to see what I could do to help.

"Must be hard to deliver these papers with all this snow, huh?"
"Yeah," he replied with crockodile tears streaming down his face. "And I'm just so tired."

As I helped him put the papers back into proper order, he seemed to settle a bit.

After he left I started thinking how frustrations can easily build for people some days. And how to help little people better deal with the seemingly insurmountable stress. Then again, if as adults we are unable to help ourselves, how do we show the young?