Meditations & Colouring

Hey All!
Happy June!  I hope you are having a great day.

We are being reminded of the cycle of life in our fish tank these past days.  We have two tanks; a 30 and a 60 gallon.  It's the 60 gallon tank that is truly a teacher lately.

We've lost a few fish... Pretty died and we just had to put down Zeibs.  They were both our original fish in this tank which I believe is 7 years old.  Pretty was just old.   But Zeibs was being eaten by our pleco and beat up by the younger fish in the tank.  He did his best, but loss the battle and we didn't want to watch him suffer in his final hours.  It's always heart breaking to have to put down a fish.

Anyhow we've been thinking of getting 4 more fish for the tank to repopulate it.  Then yesterday I was watching my finned friends swim around and found two fry in there!  Our Electric Yellow Labs had babies!  It's so exciting.  Trouble is we can't get the fry out of the tank to protect them from the other cichlids.  Here's hoping the little guys make it and the other's don't decide to eat their young.

The ebb and flow of life in the tank, a reminder our own personal flow.

Remember I told you I'd let you know when my Totem Colouring Books would be updated with a meditation?  Well, they all set!  If you are interested in your animal totems go grab your copy today!   You can find them here at Amazon

Be well,
Tammy

PS.  Also featured on Amazon is This Stage of Grief, a book to support you through any grieving journey;  this was inspired by the loss of my brother and the challenges that accompany the grieving journey.  It's not an easy process as you may know.

And My Mantra Colouring Book - A Yogini's Journey... a fun whimsical girls book for you to colour and chant away with!

You can also have a look inside them there!

Surrounded by light

Hey all!
Just a fast blog post as I realized I haven't posted all summer long.  I was busy here and there - you can check out where I was by looking at my Instagram account if you wish:
https://instagram.com/tammylcymbalisty/


It was a great summer of healing and nurturing the relationships that I hold dear and close.  With the loss of my brother I'm still working through the grieving process and will say it is going to take some time to work through.


I actually just posted this to my mailing list this week in a newsletter that I write quarterly called Mindful Melody (if you want to be on this list jet me an email and let me know and I can add you).  In this month's newsletter I shared to the list about Dave's passing.  Not everyone knew.


It received some amazing responses from people sending me healing, love and light.  I had an odd conversation with someone mentioning people should keep their 'nose out of my business' and not mention anything to me about this tremendous loss.  Since I had just send out the note, I realized I'd get some messages back. 


I felt fully supported and surrounded by light through this messages.
And I appreciate it more than anyone knows.


You just never know how people are going to deal with your grief.  The best advice after living through this terrible time is to offer an ear and a kind word.  After remember....


"We are just walking each other home." ~Ram Dass

Happy June

Wow has the time simply flown by or what?


It's so hard to believe that my brother has been gone since March 13th and we are now looking at June.  I guess that's how it goes, life does go on.  I remember how much I've hated hearing those words over these past weeks; but it is the indelible truth.


The ebb and flow of life and time.


I've been very blessed and am so grateful to be surrounded by such loving souls.  Here's what one person just said yesterday, "Very happy to see you today. It made me realize what a beautiful, and special person you are." 


So nice to hear.


Wouldn't it be amazing if everyday we were supported in this truth?


Wouldn't it be nice if we could tell ourselves how great we are without ego or self centeredness, but to simply come through with greater amounts of self love?


Wouldn't it be a great if we loved every inch of our minds and our bodies?


And if you believed you were such a beautiful soul what would you do today to feel even better than ever before?


Just some food for thought before I go and find some actually food.
Lunchtime... I'm hungry


Cheers & much love,
Tam


http://www.reikiandyoga.com check out my site if you wish ...
TL-C

Conscious Choices

I'm struggling.


I find from Monday's first class until Thursday evening I seem to be able to keep it all together.
I have moments of grief, of sorrow, yet on average I'm Ok.  I can put myself off to the side and do my job.

I breath into the spaces.  I use all of the techniques available to me:  Reiki, Ho'oponopono, pranayama, NLP, EFT ... you get the idea.

Then the weekend comes. 

After my last client leaves I seem to not be able to keep it together at all.  I fall into a space of grieving and can't pull out of it.  It is one of those things that I'm fine for awhile then it's like a tsunami comes in and knocks me over.

I look forward to the time when I feel the Phoenix rising; but right now I feel like I'm still down in the ashes (no cremation pun intended there).

Ah Davey... how the hell did we get here?

Got through it

The first holiday without Dave we got through.  It was pretty much as challenging as I thought it would be.  There were moments when we thought we wouldn't get through, then were other's that had an easy flow.


We met for Quesadilla's which is what we going to eat on the 14th; the day that was to be the collective party and turned into the shock of Dave's passing.  We had a birthday cake for Zach and talked to Dave's wife about where she is at.  I know how hard this is for me sharing 44 years with him.  I can't begin to imagine her experience, he was her everyday.. wow.


I still haven't had a day when my cheeks have been fully dry.  I wonder if today is that day?  It's only been 25 days without him.  I'm still smelling the cigarette smoke occasionally, but it has eased way off from what it was (this has been a sign to me as I quit smoking in 2012... Dave was a heavy smoker especially since he had lost his job in Jan).  He doesn't feel as close as he did a week ago though.  People say he'll say with me so long as I need him to.   It's a nice thought. 


I know he's in a better place, pain free and that in itself is wonderful.  But being here, with all of the pains left, and problems yet to be solved is overwhelming.


I guess this is how we learn.  How we are forced to move ahead.


One moment.  One breath at a time.


I'm in awe of our time shared, feeling so blessed to have had him around yet at the same time feeling so broken and wonder when that will heal.


Thanks for listening.

Loss

Talking to Mom yesterday and I mentioned something that needs to be done this coming Saturday the 28th.  She said, "Ah no problem, let's deal with that later.  Now what's up for Friday?"

"No Mom," I redirected her.  "We need to know what is happening for Saturday so we can finish making our plans."

"But this is the weekend of the 21st, the 28th is a whole week away!"

She was pretty surprised to discover she'd lost a week in there.  Funny how life and in this case death can lead toward missing time.

I wish we could erase these past few weeks and not feel so raw.

It's like one of my friends at the funeral said.... right now you are feeling like the underside of a quilt.  It's raw, it has strings hanging out of it; but there will come a time when you'll flip that quilt over and discover it's beauty.

In my moments of grief, I'll await those times.

This is the last Picture of my brother with his son Zach taken at Christmas 2014.

I feel at such a loss of what to do here.  The family is raising monies to help pay for the children's education.  My brother's kids Zach (8) and Jacob (15) are left along with their mother Tanya without a dad and partner.

I'm raising as much as I can from here.  Please donate to My Nephews Education Fund
http://www.gofundme.com/pwvq9k

Please share & thank you if you donate, every little bit will help.

You can also privately message me and I can offer you other options if you do not wish to do so online.

Thank you in eternal gratitude.